A note before you read: this piece talks openly about shame, suicide, and suicidal ideation. Take care of yourself first. I am tired. I feel drained. I kept questioning whether I really wanted to come here and write. No one reads my blog anyway, I thought EXCEPT One person who subscribed to my newsletter after posting about my blog this week after months of tumbleweeds up in here. And, if this isn't redundant already, the exercise I am doing here is embodiment practice. Self-

In psychology, regression is an unconscious defense mechanism where a person deals with severe stress, anxiety, or internal conflict by reverting to behaviors, emotions, or thoughts from an earlier, more secure stage of development. Originating from psychoanalytic theory. One of the challenges I have is ...I have a lot lol okay, it's 9:12 p.m. I'm currently blasting the Winter is Coming Stark theme from Game of Thrones, that melody, my goooooood. It's chilling. It wants to br

mentally, i'm here 4:25 p.m. I am challenging my self. challenging my ability to show up --for myself. i know i struggle with consistency and lets be honest, discipline, too. so this challenge, that i randomly thought of yesterday is an exercise for me to show up for me to show me that i can do hard things that i can actually in fact do the things that i struggle to do show up -- for myself. with myself. because, somewhere along the way I have lost myself I know I have wanted